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Monday, 28 January 2013

AKPORS AND HIS CAR

By: Adedokun Adetunji On: 06:42
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  • Akpors bought a Brand
    New Bullet proof car,
    While driving alone in the
    bush at Night, Armed
    Robbers ambushed him
    and fired shots at his car sporadically but could not
    Penetrate,
    Akpors, being so wise,
    came down from the car
    and started abusing the
    robbers " ur fadas" don't you know the car has
    bullet proof??"
    Akpors was Buried 2 days
    later.

    CLEAN JOKE

    By: Adedokun Adetunji On: 06:38
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  • CLEAN JOKE!
    Jesus and Satan were having an
    on-
    going argument about who was
    better on the computer. They
    had been going at it for days, and
    frankly
    God was tired of hearing all the
    bickering.
    Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S
    OK! I have had enough! I am going
    to set up a test that will run for
    two hours, and from those
    results, I will judge who does
    the better job."
    So Satan and Jesus sat down at the
    keyboards and typed away.
    They moused.
    They faxed.
    They e-mailed.
    They e-mailed with attachments &
    logged on to same time.
    They downloaded & trouble-
    shooted .
    They logged on to novel &
    accessed phoenix.
    They did spreadsheets!
    They accessed Zen & fps server
    They wrote reports.
    They created labels and cards.
    They created charts and graphs. They did some genealogy
    reports
    They did every job known to
    man.
    Jesus worked with heavenly
    efficiency and Satan was faster than
    hell. Then, ten minutes before
    their time was up, lightning
    suddenly flashed across the sky,
    thunder rolled, rain poured, and,
    of course, the power went off..... Satan stared at his blank screen
    and
    screamed every curse word
    known
    in the underworld.
    Jesus just relaxed. Finally the electricity came back
    on,
    and each of them restarted
    their
    computers. Satan started
    searching frantically, screaming:
    "It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost
    everything when the power
    went
    out!"
    Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from
    the
    past two hours of work..
    Satan observed this and became
    jealous.
    "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair!
    He cheated! How come he has
    all his
    work and I don't have any?"
    God just smiled and said,
    it's simply because.....
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    JESUS SAVES!!!

    Tuesday, 22 January 2013

    AKPOS IN A BIBLE QUIZ

    By: Adedokun Adetunji On: 06:14
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  • AKPOS IN A BIBLE QUIZ

    Q: who is judas?
    Akpos: a farmer and vegetarian.
    Q: why?
    Akpos: becos judas eats carrot.
    Q: where is judas from?
    Akpos: Nigeria.
    Q: which tribe?
    Akpos: igbo.
    Q: why?
    Akpos: becos he loves money.
    Q: what is Lazarus surname?
    Akpos: Comfort.
    Q: why?
    Akpos: becos wen Jesus came to his grave, He shouted "Lazarus Comfort".
    Q: who are the brothers of Lazarus that climb the tree to see Jesus?
    Akpos: Aki n Popo.
    Q: why?
    Akpos: because he is a short man.
    Q: complete this bible quote, "many are called but..."
    Akpos: many are called but few have the credit to call back.

    ... uP Akpors.

    Wednesday, 16 January 2013

    THE LUCKIEST MUM AND HER THREE DAUGHTHERS

    By: Adedokun Adetunji On: 06:23
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  • A mum was lucky enough to see her 3 daughters wed in d same year, So she whispered to each of them "After your weddings "Text me your 1st Nite Xperience & dont forget to text it in a coded way o!

    After a week, the 1st daughter sent 'NESCAFE' in an sms 2 her mum while a week later, the 2nd texted 'BENSON'.

    Their mum, as a soji woman, picked up a tin of Nescafe & read from d label; "fantastic till d last drop!"
    she also went 2 her husband's pack of Benson Cigarettes & found written on it; "extra long, king size!"

    she thought aloud; 'not too bad for them @ their age sha!

    A few days later, her 3rd daughter's text comes in; "Arik: Lagos - Kano!". So Mama calls Arik Air Information Desk to inquire about their kano - lagos flight.

    She was told; "Its 3times daily, 7days a week & the flight duration is 75mins to & fro!".

    Mama throws herself in the air, lands, slumps & faints shouting...... "Yeeeeee! Eleyi ma pa mi lomo Oº°˚( this one will kill my daughter).....