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Wednesday, 20 February 2013

"I have no intention of becoming a woman": Mike Tyson sex change spoof fools African media

By: Adedokun Adetunji On: 04:46
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  • Former undisputed heavyweight champion of the world "Iron" Mike Tyson has issued a statement via an African website denying stories claiming he has had a sex change.
    The bizarre story stems from a spoof news item from a British satirical website, which hoodwinked a number of online publications in Africa.
    Zambian website Zambia Watchdog is also thought to have published the story, but it has subsequently been removed.
    Quotes attributed to Tyson in the story stated: "Some people might think it strange that I’m now a woman.
    "But even at the height of my career, when pound for pound I was regarded as the best fighter in the world, I never lost touch with my feminine side and knew that one day I would grow breasts and have a vagina."
    However, Tyson has since been quoted on SpyGhana as saying: "I am still a man and I have always been fully in touch with my masculinity and have no intention of becoming a woman.
    "The claims are not only untrue but unbelievably stupid. I was at the Pacquiao-Marquez fight on Saturday and any reasonable person could tell I was looking like a man."
    The story went on to suggest he wanted to replace his long-standing nickname of "Iron Mike" with "Iron Maiden", and change his name from Mike to Michelle after a successful 16-hour operation.
    Comic writer John O'Farrell from NewsBiscuit told the BBC: "We've had half as many visitors from Africa in the last few days as we'd expect generally in a whole month."
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    By: Adedokun Adetunji On: 04:28
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    Former undisputed heavyweight boxing champion of the world Mike Tyson is said to be ‘feeling fine’ after undergoing successful gender reassignment surgery at a clinic near Beverley Hills. Once known as ‘The Baddest Man on the Planet’, the Brooklyn-born boxer told reporters that having his first menstrual cycle ‘would be a dream come true’, and that from now on he would be known as Michelle.
    ‘Some people might think it strange that I’m now a woman,’ said former rapist Tyson, who underwent complete facial feminization, orbital bone contouring and nasal surgery in an operation lasting over 16 hours. ‘But even at the height of my career, when pound for pound I was regarded as the best fighter in the world, I never lost touch with my feminine side and knew that one day I would grow breasts and have a vagina.’
    Iron Mike – or Iron Maiden as he now likes to be called – was given the all-clear for gender reassignment surgery following a successful course in hormone replacement therapy which, in his autobiography, the boxer blamed for his 1996 defeat at the hands of Evander Holyfield. Although at the time Tyson insisted he was fit enough to carry on with the fight, referee Mitch Halpern stopped the bout in the 11th round saying Tyson looked flushed, was sweating profusely and appeared to be lactating heavily from his left breast.
    Tyson, wearing a blonde wig and looking relaxed in blue jeans and a Vanessa Bruno T-shirt, today said he hoped having a clitoris would finally convince the American people that his ‘bad-boy’ days were over and he had turned over a new leaf. ‘I’m even keeping my surgically removed penis in a jar by my bedside to remind me what those sick perverts did to us pretty boys in prison.’
    Although boxing commentators were initially stunned by Tyson’s revelation, many have admitted the signs were there. ‘In hindsight, he had shown a fondness for dressing up in gloves, long leather boots and silk gowns, and he always had a really close interest in earrings.’

    Monday, 18 February 2013

    Naija Superstitions

    By: Adedokun Adetunji On: 06:13
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    (1)If You sneeze, nai be sey person dey somewhere else, dey call you
    (2)If bird shit on top you, nai be sey u go get money.
    (3)If leaf fall on top ur head, nai be sey winsh dey pursue you.
    (4)When you cross over a pregnant woman on the floor, she'll give birth to a child like you.
    (5)If you mistakenly bite your tongue....Someone is saying bad things about you.
    (6)If your palm dey scratch you, nai be sey money dey come.
    (7)If you look your shadow for night nai be say tou go dey dream bad dream.
    (8)If you cut your eye lashes air put for your papa shoe in go forget too flog you for your offense.
    (9)If you seat down for two people middle nai be say dem don they receive your wealth.
    (10)If you dey hear hiss for your ear nai be say dem dey talk about you.
    Drop yours don't spoil the fun

    Akpos In Need Of Money

    By: Adedokun Adetunji On: 06:12
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    Akpors and his Wife Ekaette were watching News on T.V when an Announcement was made that any Family with 5 Children should come with them to Government house Asaba to collect 8 million naira.

    Akpors then said to his Wife, Take care of this our 3 Children, i have 2 Children outside this Marriage, let me go and get them.

    Akpors went and came back with the 2 Children and did not see the 3 Children. He was shocked and asked his wife Where the 3 Children ?

    Wife replied, You think say na only you hear the news, their Papa hear am too, he don come collect them.

    Akpors in a big counter attack with his english teacher

    By: Adedokun Adetunji On: 06:11
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  • Teacher: what is the opposite of Ma?
    John: Sir.
    Teacher: clap for him, he is correct, the answer is sir. Now what is the opposite of Madam?
    Akpors: Sirdam.

    DIFFERENT BRANDS OF CARS AND THEIR MEANINGS

    By: Adedokun Adetunji On: 06:10
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  • BMW» Bring Me Women

    FORD» Fix OR Repair Daily

    HYUNDAI» Hope You Understand Nothing Drivable And Inexpensive

    VOLVO» Very Odd Looking Vehicular Objects

    KIA» Kills In Accidents

    OPEL» Old People Enjoy Life.

    TOYOTA» The One You Only Trust Always

    GOLF/GTI» Girls Only Love Fun/Get Them Inside

    HONDA» Hanged Over Now Driving Away

    POLO» Panties Off Legs Open

    Which car are u driving?

    YOU KNOW IT'S A NAIJA MOVIE WHEN...

    By: Adedokun Adetunji On: 06:09
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  • YOU KNOW IT'S A NAIJA MOVIE WHEN...

    Add urs:

    ~ Chief is inside the car with the glasses windup, armed robbers attack and shoots at chief,the bullet won't break the glass but will kill chief inside the car..:
    How come ??

    ~ A man shoots himself on the head 3 times...Habaaa !!!!!!!
    How in the world is that possible?

    ~ RMD remembering when he was still 7 years old as far back as 1960 and suddenly a HUMMER passes in front of him....... Chinekeee

    ~ Patience Ozokwor poisons Zark Orji's food.
    She stirs the poison so that it will circulate to all parts of the meal and then she tastes it.
    Zack Orji dies while she survives. Nawaa oo

    ~ Someone flashes back to 1982 and behind him is a sign board "Vote for Goodluck" Hmmmm

    ~ A 7year old character is washing plates and he suddenly becomes an adult in his 20's stillwashing the same plates and wearing the same trousers...

    ~ Omotola is depicted as a poor woman suffering in the village and has to do serious farm work to survive, only for you to see that her fingernails are fixed with long plastic nails and painted crimson red.

    ~ Tonto Dike acting a born again village girl, yet has tattoos on her body.

    ~ Someone dies with low cut and his spirit comes back wearing afro... Na wetin?

    ~ A woman suddenly decides to poison her husband, then she opens her food cabinet and brings out the substance.
    Is poison part of cooking ingredients?

    ~ They shoot you on the leg yet blood start coming out from your nose.

    ~ John Okafor(Ibu) is the father of Nkem Owoh.. Biko who is older?

    ~ You must cough before you die...?Lolzz

    Keep it rolling...