AKPORS AND HIS CAR

Akpors bought a Brand
New Bullet proof car,
While driving alone in the
bush at Night, Armed
Robbers ambushed him
and fired shots at his car sporadically but could not
Penetrate,
Akpors, being so wise,
came down from the car
and started abusing the
robbers " ur fadas" don't you know the car has
bullet proof??"
Akpors was Buried 2 days
later.

CLEAN JOKE

CLEAN JOKE!
Jesus and Satan were having an
on-
going argument about who was
better on the computer. They
had been going at it for days, and
frankly
God was tired of hearing all the
bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S
OK! I have had enough! I am going
to set up a test that will run for
two hours, and from those
results, I will judge who does
the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the
keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments &
logged on to same time.
They downloaded & trouble-
shooted .
They logged on to novel &
accessed phoenix.
They did spreadsheets!
They accessed Zen & fps server
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs. They did some genealogy
reports
They did every job known to
man.
Jesus worked with heavenly
efficiency and Satan was faster than
hell. Then, ten minutes before
their time was up, lightning
suddenly flashed across the sky,
thunder rolled, rain poured, and,
of course, the power went off..... Satan stared at his blank screen
and
screamed every curse word
known
in the underworld.
Jesus just relaxed. Finally the electricity came back
on,
and each of them restarted
their
computers. Satan started
searching frantically, screaming:
"It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost
everything when the power
went
out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from
the
past two hours of work..
Satan observed this and became
jealous.
"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair!
He cheated! How come he has
all his
work and I don't have any?"
God just smiled and said,
it's simply because.....
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JESUS SAVES!!!

AKPOS IN A BIBLE QUIZ

AKPOS IN A BIBLE QUIZ

Q: who is judas?
Akpos: a farmer and vegetarian.
Q: why?
Akpos: becos judas eats carrot.
Q: where is judas from?
Akpos: Nigeria.
Q: which tribe?
Akpos: igbo.
Q: why?
Akpos: becos he loves money.
Q: what is Lazarus surname?
Akpos: Comfort.
Q: why?
Akpos: becos wen Jesus came to his grave, He shouted "Lazarus Comfort".
Q: who are the brothers of Lazarus that climb the tree to see Jesus?
Akpos: Aki n Popo.
Q: why?
Akpos: because he is a short man.
Q: complete this bible quote, "many are called but..."
Akpos: many are called but few have the credit to call back.

... uP Akpors.

THE LUCKIEST MUM AND HER THREE DAUGHTHERS

A mum was lucky enough to see her 3 daughters wed in d same year, So she whispered to each of them "After your weddings "Text me your 1st Nite Xperience & dont forget to text it in a coded way o!

After a week, the 1st daughter sent 'NESCAFE' in an sms 2 her mum while a week later, the 2nd texted 'BENSON'.

Their mum, as a soji woman, picked up a tin of Nescafe & read from d label; "fantastic till d last drop!"
she also went 2 her husband's pack of Benson Cigarettes & found written on it; "extra long, king size!"

she thought aloud; 'not too bad for them @ their age sha!

A few days later, her 3rd daughter's text comes in; "Arik: Lagos - Kano!". So Mama calls Arik Air Information Desk to inquire about their kano - lagos flight.

She was told; "Its 3times daily, 7days a week & the flight duration is 75mins to & fro!".

Mama throws herself in the air, lands, slumps & faints shouting...... "Yeeeeee! Eleyi ma pa mi lomo Oº°˚( this one will kill my daughter).....